Lights out at 10 on Friday nights

The last time I was asleep at 10 p.m. on consecutive Friday nights was in the Ronald Reagan era. Gas prices were below a buck, Grand Junction wasn't half the city it is today, I was a know-it-all rebelling against my parents and teachers and, of course, I knew everything.

I should add that the I was probably grounded, which would explain the in bed at 10 p.m. thing way back then.

Having a pregnant wife changes everything, especially the nightlife. Before I met Kelley, I was intertwined with the greatest group of friends a guy could ask for. It seemed no matter what I was doing or where I was doing it, I was always surrounded by the same group of friends and the nights would last forever.

I met Kelley Lin when she took the mic for the all-girl band Riveter, which also included good friends Robin and Laurena. Robin is married to Bill, who has his own band — The Wrong Impressions — and Laurena is married to Scott who fronts Exit 42. I was groupie for all of these bands before I met and fell head over heels in love with Kelley, and before I knew it, I was married to a rockstar who was in a band with some of my closest friends and incredible musicians.

With gigs here, there and everywhere, we all spent a lot of time together. Traveling to shows, spending weekends in different towns and the countless nights we always seemed to end up in Bill and Robin's backyard. These were truly epic adventures.

However, things do change.

Once we found out Kelley was pregnant, everything changed. After many long conversations, Kelley and I were well aware that at some point, her time in the band would have to be put on hold. Music is a lot of who Kelley is. She needs it like we need air to survive. With that said, music will always be there and she will find her way back to it someday and when she does I will once again be in the front row with Baby Husband in tow.

Once the band retired it's guitars, hooker boots and fishnet stockings, Kelley and I, for the most part, also retired our nightlife which, up to that point, produced a lifetime of memories in a short time. However, it's not as though we are barricading ourselves inside our house. We just decided that we wouldn't do the bar scene and late nights, which, unfortunately means missing out on nights like last night when Bill and Scott's new band — M80s — played. And this also meant missing time with our great friends. Of course we will no doubt spend plenty of other great times with our friends, but those nights with our friends on stage performing music is something special. Missing that is tough for both of us.

Because Kelley is usually passed out with the lights and TV on in our bedroom well before 10 p.m., it makes it easier for her to not want to do anything except rest. For me, you would think it's tough stay home knowing my wife is asleep, but I don't and will never be that guy. There will be times when I can and will go out, but for the most part, I want to be there for Kelley even when she's sacked out. Call me crazy, but it just feels like the right thing to do. Besides, it gives me total freedom in my man cave to watch sports and truly appreciate the fact that just in other room, my son or daughter is growing inside my wife.

Although we are now missing out on what are no doubt good times with our great friends, it's OK because Kelley and I have something so much better and more important going on inside that beautiful belly of hers. Once Baby Husband arrives, we can start to slowly get back into the groove with our friends.

Knowledge is Power

My magazine fetish has recently taken a backseat to more reading of books — the kind of books that educate the mind with every stinking word. The last time I did this kind of reading I was downing Mountain Dew and probably pulling all-nighters.

These days, I'm starting to find myself buried in books that I never thought I was going to read, but always hoped I would. Baby books have now taken over the Man Cave, our night stands, the living room and, once in awhile, even the bathroom.

Instead of reading about the NFL, the upcoming NBA season and whether or not LeBron James will lead the Miami Heat to a title while pissing off the entire state of Ohio, I'm beginning to read more on how to prepare for a baby: Breastfeeding, solid foods, diaper changing, nutrition, nighttime sleeping and so on and so on ...

Maxim is now on hold.

So, for the time being my beloved Maxim magazine is now an afterthought. Sports Illustrated is no longer high on my reading radar and Playboy ... OK, let's not push it.

At some point, I may have to cut my TV time in preparation for Baby Husband. Thank God for our DVR, but giving up college basketball and my beloved Kansas Jayhawks ... well, Baby Husband will just have to belly up with daddy during those precious TV moments.

Moving on ...

Among the number of mind-numbing issues that proved to be off the charts nerve-wracking in the initial stages of our pregnancy was how to better educate ourselves on being the best  parents we can be and knowing what to expect and how to meet those expectations with a firm grasp on parenthood reality.

Because so many of our friends have children, we had every kind of advice coming in every direction. The one thing I've noticed, and that other parents have told me time and time again, is that everybody has opinions and advice to offer. I've learned this to be very true and, to be brutally honest, a little overwhelming. As much as Kelley and I loved, appreciated and welcomed all of the advice our friends had to offer, one friend in particular offered up the saving grace of how to deal with the endless number of questions we had — Read books. Lots of them.

Kelley and I started researching books and came up with a short list. There are so many damn baby books out there that it was, yep, overwhelming. You'll come to find out I use this word a lot. We heard a lot about Dr. William Sears, who publishes a series of pregnancy and baby books that are atop the who's who in this category of literature.

Great book!

We decided to go away from What to Expect When Your Expecting simply because the book is like 7,000 pages long and we really liked what we read about Dr. Sears. So, the we purchased two books to get us going:

* The Baby Book

* The Pregnancy Book

I also purchased The Expectant Father, which is a great read for any father to be.

Instead of detailing theses books, I'm just going to suggest you check them out if you're pregnant because it really comes down to a matter of choice. I would venture a guess that all these books — and there are what seems to be a million of them out there — are saying the same thing, but it's how the information is delivered that sold us on the books we choose.

So, as the old adage goes, knowledge is power. And in this case, powerful knowledge about being a great father is my new best friend and I can't get fill my tiny brain with enough of it. We still have six more months to go, but soaking up as much of this information now will hopefully prepare us when Baby Husband makes his or her way down — or through — the tunnel straight into our hopefully prepared world.

With all of this reading, I feel like I cramming for a college final. I was never a good test taker, but I think this is one test I am going to ace.

Baby on board

Although it's reality, I still can't believe I'm going to be a father.

I recently turned 40 and am just now cracking open the "Daddy-to-be-books" for the first time while many of my friends have the same books buried in the back of bookshelves. It's a little intimidating knowing many of my fellow father friends have children that are 10 or some that have teenagers. I guess I'm a late bloomer in this sense because as much as I've always wanted children, I never wanted children with anyone until I met my dear Kelley Lin.

Baby Husband chilling.

That fact of the matter is that I no longer care of my age or the fact I'll be 58 when my kid graduates from high school — a future GJHS Tiger for sure. I consider myself the luckiest father-to-be alive because I'm on this journey with the only woman to ever make me weak in the knees. All that matters to me now is that Kelley and I provide the best possible love, support and positive environment for Baby Husband, because if there's anything I've learned from our great friends with children, whom some are old enough to drive and even vote, it's that understanding and actually practicing the true responsibility of being a good parent can pay off in the long run.

So many of my friends have already been through the joys and fears I am going through right now and have moved onto bigger and much better aspects of parenting. Bill and Robin, Scott and Laurena, Braden and Pam, Greg and Sarah and Jay and Amber and so many others ... thank you for being the remarkable parents you are. You may not know it, but the unbelievable parenting you provide to your children is incredibly contagious to this daddy-to-be.

Aside from our great friends, our sisters are great parents, too. And our parents ... forget about it. How can any person not give praise to their parents. I know I can speak for Kelley when I say I am who I am today because of my parents.

When Kelley and I found out we were going to have a child we both were incredibly overwhelmed with joy and fear. Of course the initial joy of knowing we will be parents was filled with every feel-good emotion possible. We cried, laughed and hugged for what seemed like an eternity. After awhile, however, the fear set in. I don't know for certain, but I'm willing to bet the fear is a common thread in the initial stages of pregnancies. The questions were popping up every which way:

* What do we do know?
* What books do we read?
* What foods does Kelley need to stop eating and start eating?
* Midwife or OBGYN?
* What do we need to change in our lifestyle?
* How the hell are we going to do this? (This one, at one point, drove me to a six pack of Bud Light.)

All common questions (or fears) but eventually we both took a breath. I stopped making sure Kelley was on top of her vitamins and eating more like a really pissed off drill Sergeant. We relaxed and did the one thing that solved all of our fears. We communicated. We talked and talked and talked. We found the best way for us to deal with this and that. We simplified it all in the best way that suited us. And then, we went to our doctor and she helped us simplify it all even more.

Baby Husband Bump.

And now, we are a little more than 15 weeks pregnant. Our fears have slowly faded from a laundry list to a short list and our joy and excitement of parenting has exploded to unimaginable levels. Kelley has survived the first trimester where the toilet and bed got much more attention than me. She's doing great, but still has those struggles a pregnancy can give any woman. She's a trooper and I'm so proud of her and think it's truly amazing what women go through during a pregnancy. Mad respect!

We've had two ultrasounds and done all kinds of testing, including a test to detect Down Syndrome. So far, everything is, as our doctors have told us "above normal." Hell, Kelley and I were even referred to as "incredibly healthy" parents. All of this allows us to rest easy on the worry list and focus more on the pre-parenting tasks.

And now, the journey continues for the Husband's. Kelley's belly is growing, my nerves are slowly getting back to normal and together we are finding the right path to parenthood. But most of all, Baby Husband is doing just fine!